LEGIONAIRE PROFILES – Prof. Phineas J. Flockmocker III F.H.S.G .

Prof. Flockmocker with Queen Victoria

Though born in the United States, not much is known about his early years. Rumors persist that from an earlier age he felt he could pierce the veil of incomprehensible mechanical knowledge whose understanding eludes even the most learned of man. Many have stated that this mystical mechanical understanding inevitably brought him into the now famous verbal conflicts with his various school masters.

“Those poor chaps based their knowledge on facts, while I humbly based my arguments on that which can’t be logically made clear.”, explained Professor Flockmocker.

Nevertheless all the civilized world knows about his trip to the state of Kansas. There but a lad under his parents’ supervision, he encountered a most spectacular display of the awesome power of nature. So much so that it inspired his solution for the age old problem of propelling a man aloft.

But it would be years of trying to complete his higher education, before he could attempt to realize his earth shaking plan and finally construct his now famous flying conveyance.

For he did attended many fine universities. And each time his ideas were met with distain and ridicule. So much so, that all these positions of higher learning respectfully requested that he depart their institutions and to never return again. But being gentleman who is not easily disillusioned, he pressed on with all due dispatch.

Eventually his course crossed the path of a like-minded person, a nobleman, the world renowned, Emperor Norton. The Emperor seeing the potential of the Professor’s Flying Conveyance agreed on the spot to finance his inventive endeavors. But fate is fickle. And in a short span of time the Great Rebellion erupted, tearing his country asunder. The patriotic Flockmocker found himself volunteering to be a key strategist to the 16th President of the United States. Many say if the President had not taken Flockmocker’s curious advice to heart, the rebellion would be over today. This point is, of course, open for debate. But the cold fact is the rebellion rages on even as this pen is being put to paper.

Flockmocker, flush with the promise of capitol from his royal friend and seeing no end to the turmoil engulfing his homeland, ventured forth to the United Kingdom. England to be more precise. Upon hearing that the famous Phineas J. Flockmocker III had landed upon the shores of her great country, H.R.H. Queen Victoria gave the Professor a personal audience.

It is said that on Dec14, 1861 her husband, Prince Albert will give him a personal audience as well.

While waiting for said audience Professor Flockmocker heard of another wealthy and equally famous individual known as Phineas Fogg. Flockmocker quickly located him. He eagerly beseeched Mr. Fogg to fund a, ”wonderful new invention that will change history and alter the world”. The professor further insisted that it was Mr. Fogg’s obligation to finance him as they both had the same first name. But it seems the ‘Rebellion’ situation and Flockmocker’s role in it had already reached these shores. Sadly, Mr. Fogg would have none of it.

But the relentless Flockmocker constantly put forth his many rambling and varied arguments for such action. Eventually, Mr. Fogg acquiesced, but only to the point of not only making Flockmocker a member of La Legion Fantastique – but Chief Engineer of the London branch. Although many speculated this was done out of a kinship felt between the two men upon realizing the similarities in their monogrammed undergarmets, Mr. Fogg stated it was the only way to put a stop Flockmocker’s incessant badgering. So now, when not working on his next invention, Professor Phineas J. Flockmocker III tends to the newest members and the “Fogg Collection”.

He always keeps a innovator’s eye out for any extraordinary new invention that may boil up from the depths of his vast and cavernous mind, “and thus revolutionize the entire globe in the name of God, Science and Hygiene!”


One Response to “LEGIONAIRE PROFILES – Prof. Phineas J. Flockmocker III F.H.S.G .”

  1. Pleased to have made your acquaintance on Saturday! Thank you for making us feel at home!

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